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Parenting plans

„Fosused on child - the interes of child is the basis“

The child's adjustment to his parent's divorce will be greatly enhanced if the parents can establish a schedule for contact in a positive and co-operative manner. The shedule is common to call parenting plan. The following guidelines can assist divorcing parents in avoiding common problems.

If you are making a parenting plan please note:

• The parent with whom the child lives should make every effort to reassure the child that he/she approves of the child's contact with the other parent. The parent should actively encourage the child to attend and enjoy the contact with the other parent.
• The non-resident parent should ensure that the other parent knows the general whereabouts of the children, and has a contact telephone number when the children are away
• Disagreements about suitability of clothing, education, treatment, upbringing or contact with the child should be discussed between parents, not with the presence of the children. 
• Every effort should be made by both parents to keep within timescales which have been agreed. 
• Parents should respect each other's privacy and recognize that interrogating a child during contact may lessen the child's enjoyment. 
• Parents should avoid making negative comments about the other parent 
• A child who acts withdrawn after a contact with the non-residential parent is not necessarily reflecting a visitation problem, but rather reflecting his level of stress and concern regarding the changes in his family. 
• It is important for children, particularly younger children, to have a consistent and predictable schedule. 
• Periods of extended contact allow the parent-child relationship to develop in a more realistic manner. 
• Contact between children and their absent parents occurs more smoothly and therefore more beneficially for he children when the parents are able to communicate and encourage positive feelings about each other, very good results are achieved when we speak about love: “your father loves you” “your mother loves you”

Remember these things when you and your child's other parent create a parenting plan:
All decisions that affect parenting need to be addressed !!!

1. Ideas from both parents should be considered
when both parents feel that they are actively involved in the process, they are more likely to respect and follow the plan.
2. Both parents need to define their role in the children’s lives after the divorce
The parenting plan should reflect these new roles and responsibilities, you become parents in future but not a couple any more
3. Parenting plans should be structured enough
 to be understandable and flexible enough to be realistic.
4. A distinction between the spousal and the parenting role
should be made when creating the parenting plan, conseder that there is a change in your life
5. Anything left undecided by parents will be decided by a judge



Parenting time should be based on the needs of each individual family. 
We offer you one worksheet in PDF and also a parenting plan in PDF . If you want to see a 50:50 shared custody parenting plan it is also available.

And what more...

Below are some plans, which can be provided as a tool to give an ideas how to make your own plan.
Please note:
the time during school holidays, is also available for spending together with either of parents.

Children up to 12 months 

• three periods of 3-6 hours throughout one week. For nonresident parent
• two 6 hours periods, through out the week, for parents with on going conflict, some third person is highly recommended to be with the child, while the exchange is to be done.
• two periods of 3-6 hours throughout one week, and one overnight for the nonresident parent in child’s home 

   

Children aged 1 year to 2 years   "spending hours together"

	Mo	Tu	We	Th	Fr	Sa	Su
with father			x	x		x
with mother	x	x	x	x	x	x	x

One daytime period 3- 6 hours and two non-consecutive overnights each week;
Wednesday 3-6 hours with father and Thursday overnight with father in the dwelling place of a child, Saturday overnight with father

 

Children aged 1 year to 2 years    "spending hours together"

	Mo	Tu	We	Th	Fr	Sa	Su
with father		x		x		x
with mother	x	x	x	x	x	x	x

Two 4 hours periods (on Tuesday and Thursady) and one 8 hour period (on Saturday) or any other possibilty of spacing the hours throughout each week.

Children aged 1 year to 2 years   "spending days together"

	Mo	Tu	We	Th	Fr	Sa	Su
with father	x	x			x	x	x
with mother			x	x

With both the child will be on Friday, Saturday and Sunday, this plan can alternate each week so that with father the child will be in the begining of the week  ( Monday and Tuesday) and the weekend.
The following week will the child spend the beginign of the week with mother and also the weekend.
Suitable only for some children.
The maximum time  with one parent is 3 days

Children aged 3 years to 5 years   "spending days together"

	Term
with father	mid-week in a month, every other weekend
with mother	mid-week in a month, every other weekend

If the parent with less parenting time will be in the child’s area, the resident parent will make every effort to enable the child to see the parent with less parenting time.
This plan can be used also for parents with ongoing conflict. 
The maximum time  with one parent is 7 days.
 

 

Children 4 years and up   "spending weeks together"  Sunday change

	Su	Mo	Tu	We	Th	Fr	Sa
with father	x	x	x	x	x	x	x
with mother	x	x	x	x	x	x	x

Suitable only for some children, to consider the child’s condition is recommended.
The maximum time not seeing one parent is 7 days



 

Children 4 years and up  "spending weeks together"  Monday change

	Mo	Tu	We	Th	Fr	Sa	Su
with father	x	x	x	x	x	x	x
with mother	x	x	x	x	x	x	x

Suitable only for some children, to consider the child’s condition is recommended
This plan can be used also as a pre-school plan with a distance as a dominating factor.
The maximum time not seeing one parent is 7 days.

Children 4 years and up  "short and long week"  

	Mo	Tu	We	Th	Fr	Sa	Su
with father	x	x	x	x	x
with mother	x	x	x	x	x	x	x

Periods of 5 and 7 days are regulary changig.
This plan can be used also as a chool plan, in case the parents live in the same place and are having a well going communication.
And also the child's after school activities should be considered - when using this plan as a school plan.
The maximum time not seeing one parent is 7 days.

Children 5 years and pre-school  "weeks together"

with father       period of two weeks
wtih mother    period of two weeks

Regulary changing the periods of two weeks
For parents who vere involved in  day to day care before the divorce, and children who are flexible enough.
To consider how much the child is independent.
The maximum time  with one parent is 14 days.

Children 6 - 13 years "weekends together"

	Mo	Tu	We	Th	Fr	Sa	Su
with father	x	x			x	x	x
wtih mother	x	x

Full weekends with or without the child.
Helpful when the conflicts are making difficulties in exchanges.
Helpfull during "puberty" when the child needs to be with both parents.
The maximum time  with one parent is 5 days.

Children  6 - 13 years  "overnights together"

	Mo	Tu	We	Th	Fr	Sa	Su
with father			x	x	x	x
wtih mother		x

Four days with one parent, plus additional overnight.
Suitable when the child has after school activities near to the house of  the other parent, one or two additional overnights can be used as an advantage.
Overnights with one parent can range from 2 to 5. (with one additional night)

Children  13 - 18 years  "overnights together"

Basicly any of the plans can be used for these children, but note!
Children of this age like to spend time with their friends, so the plan should be flexible anough to enable this to the child.
It is important for them to have a social contacts with equals.